This is the advice my college therapist gave me after listening to me cry in her office about unhealthy relationships I had no plans of abandoning.
That one phrase made something click that changed how I view my previous painful relationships and how I navigate current ones.
My previous relationships were riddled with a dependence that I had failed to recognize or acknowledge. My feelings relied on my partner’s performance in our relationship.
Being the unhealthy relationships they were, I was permanently sad and exhausted because my needs weren’t being met.
I thought it was more important to meet their…
We are the ecosexuals. The Earth is our lover. We are madly, passionately, and fiercely in love, and we are grateful for this relationship each and every day. In order to create a more mutual and sustainable relationship with the Earth, we collaborate with nature. We treat the Earth with kindness, respect, and affection.
This is the Ecosex Manifesto written by couple Annie Sprinkle and Elizabeth Stephens, activists, artists, and ecosexual trailblazers.
Annie is married to the Earth, Sky, and Sea and engaged to the Moon. …
My college boyfriend hurt me, and I didn’t confront him about it.
I broke up with him but was never truthful about why. I told him that I wanted to focus on school and I wasn’t interested in a long-distance relationship with him, but really, he violated me in a way that was irreparable. The relationship was over, and he didn’t totally understand why, but he eventually left.
I wasn’t ready to tell him how I felt about what he did. We briefly spoke about the incident afterward, but he showed no signs of remorse or that anything out of…
I remember the first time shaving ever crossed my mind and I stared down at my peach fuzz legs with disdain before I had even started my period or bought my first bra.
I was in my middle school PE class, and everyone was wearing their class-mandated shorts. The girls I was sitting with were examining their legs. Some were admiring their smooth, freshly shaven legs. Others were examining their stubble, agreeing that they needed to shave that night.
I looked at my own legs. I was a late bloomer, so there wasn’t much more than blonde baby hairs on…
I think it’s safe to say that many of us today are trying to achieve balance.
I’m a busy person; I’m in graduate school, I have a job, I write on Medium, I’m a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a cat mom, an avid exerciser, a reader for fun, and if I can get a solid 8 hours of sleep, I’m solid. I feel overwhelmed and guilty when one of these roles drowns out another.
My boyfriend is in a similar situation with multiple jobs, a child, and other hobbies and obligations that can’t be neglected. When we do achieve…
The lawn is the largest irrigated monocrop in America. Yes, you read that right.
NASA scientists mapped US lawn area in 2005 and found that lawns cover about 40 million acres of US soil, about 2% of the country’s land area. They estimate that lawn acreage is three times higher than that of irrigated corn, situating lawns as the largest irrigated crop in America.
And people are serious about their lawns.
Many of us reading this article now are members of homeowner’s associations that maintain order and aesthetic in their neighborhoods. …
I’m a crier. I cry often; when I’m sad, stressed, happy, overwhelmed.
I’ve cried during sex two times in my life. Crying during or after sex is fairly common. In fact, 45% of women have reported tears during sex. It happens for various reasons, such as physical pain, PTSD, emotional catharsis, love, excitement, anxiety, a deep connection to a person or sexual experience, or overwhelming pleasure.
Sex therapist Sari Cooper says:
Sometimes a partner experiences a sensation, arousal, or an orgasm unlike they’ve ever felt, and the peak of arousal lights up their whole brain so that all emotions are…
In a few paragraphs, I’m going to ask you to consider if the metrics on your scorecard for personal wellbeing and success are up-to-date. You might be wondering what that means and why that matters, so let me first offer an example of what can happen when success metrics become fixed.
Most of us are familiar with Gross Domestic Product (GDP). GDP is a progress measurement tool created in the 1930s to inform policymakers on how to overcome the Great Depression. For that purpose, it was undoubtedly successful.
Today, GDP is the primary metric for progress in most of the…
As a planet and a people, we are currently faced with the unprecedented challenge of climate change, a destructive force that we humans are primarily to blame for inciting and catalyzing.
In a world currently faced with climate change, truly sustainable solutions are essential to a healthier and happier tomorrow. That being said, it can be confidently argued that one of the reasons that nature and humanity are in this situation is a lack of in-depth understanding and concern for the long-term implications of the orientation of our societal goals and the behaviors and activities they lead us to pursue.
Sleep paralysis has been a part of my life for many years now. In fact, according to WebMD, as many as 40% of people experience sleep paralysis, and it can even run in families.
Like most people, for me, the realization of the onset of sleep paralysis is terrifying. Suddenly, you’re conscious, but you can’t move, you can’t speak, you can’t scream. Sometimes I see strange figures in my room or feel like I’m being dragged by something my paralyzed body is helpless against.
Everyone experiences sleep paralysis differently. For me, it always happens in the morning when I’ve started…
I write about relationships: with ourselves, with others, and with the planet.